Some days I love my life here in Bali – the kids are little angels playing nicely together and nap without fuss; I get up early and get loads of work done before the day has even begun; Made cooks me breakfast and brings me coffee; the lingering aroma of incense drifts past in the breeze and I smile serenely and think how lucky I am to live here.
Today was not one of those days.
Some days both Maya and Kiran scream from pretty much the second they wake up until they pass out in bed at night. Some days Made abandons me so I get nothing crossed off my to do list and feel like tearing my hair out by the end of the day and I can’t even complain because he’s visiting his sick cousin in hospital. Some days Maya hits Kiran on the head with a piece of wooden train track and pinches my arm hard because I’m reading text messages instead of reading her a book (ok I was asking for that one). Some days I want to punch my father in law in the head for muttering under his breath when I say no I will NOT be giving my baby cough syrup. Some days I’m tired from being up half the night coughing myself and arguing with Made about cultural differences vs. science and who is right and wrong (because apparently marrying your cousin is a good thing. obviously. don’t even ask! And colds are caused by rain and wind and not wearing a hat at all times, not by viruses. And white rice is the healthiest food known to man. And there’s no point in arguing because whatever is true in Europe is totally not true in Asia apparently. Silly me). Some days when I finally get the chance to get a coffee and something to eat at 10am, Maya starts howling at me to read to her gain and it ends up in the sink untouched. Some days I want to throw the kids in a cage and lock the key, leave the husband and catch the first plane out of here.
But I do not.
Instead I make cough syrup for me and Kiran from honey and lemon juice (as Kiran is nearly one [argh!] I figure it is safe to give him honey now – babies under 12 months shouldn’t eat it); Made comes home and takes Maya out somewhere so I can get an hour of peace; I take a few deep breaths.
I try not to dwell too much on the negatives in this blog, partly because it is public but also because it is my happy place. I try to leave the rants for facebook where I can get instant sympathy and move on. But this too is part of our lives. Some days are salvaged by rice field walks and dinners out and sleeping babies. Some days you just need to admit defeat, get an early night and start again tomorrow.