Some days I love my life here in Bali – the kids are little angels playing nicely together and nap without fuss; I get up early and get loads of work done before the day has even begun; Made cooks me breakfast and brings me coffee; the lingering aroma of incense drifts past in the breeze and I smile serenely and think how lucky I am to live here.
Today was not one of those days.
Some days both Maya and Kiran scream from pretty much the second they wake up until they pass out in bed at night. Some days Made abandons me so I get nothing crossed off my to do list and feel like tearing my hair out by the end of the day and I can’t even complain because he’s visiting his sick cousin in hospital. Some days Maya hits Kiran on the head with a piece of wooden train track and pinches my arm hard because I’m reading text messages instead of reading her a book (ok I was asking for that one). Some days I want to punch my father in law in the head for muttering under his breath when I say no I will NOT be giving my baby cough syrup. Some days I’m tired from being up half the night coughing myself and arguing with Made about cultural differences vs. science and who is right and wrong (because apparently marrying your cousin is a good thing. obviously. don’t even ask! And colds are caused by rain and wind and not wearing a hat at all times, not by viruses. And white rice is the healthiest food known to man. And there’s no point in arguing because whatever is true in Europe is totally not true in Asia apparently. Silly me). Some days when I finally get the chance to get a coffee and something to eat at 10am, Maya starts howling at me to read to her gain and it ends up in the sink untouched. Some days I want to throw the kids in a cage and lock the key, leave the husband and catch the first plane out of here.
But I do not.
Instead I make cough syrup for me and Kiran from honey and lemon juice (as Kiran is nearly one [argh!] I figure it is safe to give him honey now – babies under 12 months shouldn’t eat it); Made comes home and takes Maya out somewhere so I can get an hour of peace; I take a few deep breaths.
I try not to dwell too much on the negatives in this blog, partly because it is public but also because it is my happy place. I try to leave the rants for facebook where I can get instant sympathy and move on. But this too is part of our lives. Some days are salvaged by rice field walks and dinners out and sleeping babies. Some days you just need to admit defeat, get an early night and start again tomorrow.
I can totally relate!! I am from the states, but we split our time between here and Ecuador. I just got a lecture on how “the evil eye” (aka in my opinion the FLU) actually exists and you have to rub egg all over your body. It is so insanely frustrating somedays! Love your blog!
Loved this post. I am from the USA and my husband is from Curacao. The cultural differences drive me nuts sometimes and other times I think they are beautiful! =)
They have the same belief about rain and babies. Strangers will yell at me if I am out in a drizzle with my kids but they will smoke cigarettes right next to them.
I understand about those days. Here is a recipe that I’ve used for coughs.
MED FREE COUGH SYRUP: All you need is raw honey, lemon juice (fresh if possible but bottles will work too) and ground ginger. Melt 2-3 tbsp honey in a pan ( do NOT microwave!) add enough lemon juice to achieve desired consistency, add 1-2 tsp ginger powder. Allow to cool long enough to swallow but still warm. Give as much as desired with a syringe. The honey will coat the throat and has antibacterial properties. Lemon kills germs and ginger settles tummy soreness, and helps reduce irritation in the throat.
Notes from a friend who created the recipe -”You can give as much as you want as often as you want.
When Olivia was coughing all night long I gave it to her right after she brushed her teeth and then an hour later when she went to bed and it really helped. She enjoyed the flavor and told me her owies felt better. I’ve used it myself and it really does help calm a tickle in your throat, and relives that urge to cough.”
Thanks for the recipe! I will definitely be trying this. They just love over-medicating the kids here which I really don’t understand as traditionally there is a lot of ‘natural’ healing that goes on in Bali. Every time we go to the doctor for something, we get given antibiotics – sigh! Just checked out your blog – your little girl is so precious
It’s so funny isn’t it! They yell at Maya if she dares to splash in a puddle and yet they all drink out of the same glass without washing it and wonder why they all get sick… drives me crazy!
Hahaha, rub egg all over your body? That’s a new one! Nice to know I’m not the only one suffering :p
Okay, first, can I just say that a digital whinge sesh is totally a legit thing to post on your blog, particularly when you’ve had a crappy day.
Second, cross-cultural parenting = hard. Especially when there are in-laws involved. Oy. And I only have to see mine for about one week a year. Sometimes I feel like (figurative) murder when I get into the viruses vs. cold debate with my husband, and he’s even European!! I’ve also been instructed to soak my sick kid’s socks in vinegar and have her sleep like that all night, so maybe you should give that a try.
But on a more serious note, sometimes the kind words, support, and understanding that I get when I complain on my blog about the trivialities of parenting are totally restorative, and they remind me that humans are actually sometimes pretty rad.
And on one more note: so glad that I got up at 4:30 to do “work” and have managed one work-related google search but lots of blog comments. Oy.
This is the first post I have read of yours. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your life with me. Congrats on getting to page one of TBB, I’m pretty excited about it. I too am married to a man who thinks colds are caused by not wearing hats, apparently his mother told him that. I wish I lived in Bali and we could be friends, I don’t know you but I like you. And I like the beach. My husband is from the mid east and I the USA, we argue a lot. It makes me sad. But he is a good man and I am a tough girl. You sound similar. Your kids are really cute. I look forward to getting to know you.
Also, as exhausting as kids are I try to remember that before I know it they won’t be kids anymore so to try and appreciate even the hard days. we got this.
Haha, I do exactly the same thing when I get up early to work. Thanks for your sympathy
Hi Julie,
I have just had a quick look at your blog and will be back for more tomorrow – gotta get some sleep in before the first sick child wakes up, ack! I can already see I’m going to like it though. And you’re a designer for Carters?! I love their baby clothes, although they are very expensive here – I searched ebay for bargains when I was pregnant :p Anyway that is very cool. I’m looking forward to reading your blog and getting to know you better 
Thanks for checking out my blog and your lovely comment
This post definitely resonates with me. I know what you mean, there’s those days you’re utterly happy and feel completely blessed and then there are days where you just don’t understand what’s happening.
That cross-cultural patenting is tricky. I’m Indonesian and my husband is Caucasian. Although I don’t really believe as my fellow Indonesians and family believe you get sick from the wind, not wearing a hat when it rains, etc. when my parents are over that’s all I hear from them. It’s silly.
I just stumbled on your blog and I will definitely be following you along on my google reader.
Hi Sisilia, thanks for commenting – it’s always interesting to get a perspective from Indonesians. I’ve noticed my husband and his sister are not so concerned about things like letting them play in water and wear hats all the time etc but it’s more of a keeping up appearances thing as they seem to be more worried what other people think. Did you grow up in Indonesia?
I LOVE your blog – amazing photography! I will be adding you to my reader too